i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I DEMAND FORESKIN
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
