I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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