when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
