New low: just hacked my moms facebook
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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