he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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