I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
