I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
