Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize