She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
