soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
