I CAN MOONWALK!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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