I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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