I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
