That's intense
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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