that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
