the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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