what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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