I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You are the jesus of drinking
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
