Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
