This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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