It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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