but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
