Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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