wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
