Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
