hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize