I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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