so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Randomize
