I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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