I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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