How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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