some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
The air taste purple.
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