That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
