i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
