I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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