Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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