i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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