That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
