shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
now i know why i became what i already was.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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