dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
