So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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