Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
