new low.... made out with someone while peeing
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
