Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
