What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just puked most of my soul out..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
