i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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