So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
