Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
