the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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