good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
