Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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