He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
