What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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