The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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