he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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