This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
