I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
