oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
