A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
