Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just gift wrapped bread.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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