I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
