U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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