i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
