Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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