Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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